flumpie | Despite My Best Efforts, You're a Really Good Baby

When your dad and I brought you home from the hospital, you slept in your crib - for two nights. This meant I had to get up several times and, by 4:00AM or so, I'd brought you into bed with us. Then your dad went back to Iraq. And then you moved into my bed.

And I would say it was because it would give you a greater sense of security. Or that it made nursing easier and we were worried about your lack of weight gain after you were born. Or I would say it was just easier than putting you in your crib - which is only about 3 feet from my bed anyway.

All those reasons are true and they all do have merit.

But really, I have you sleep with me because I love having you there. I love snuggling with you and holding you close. I love the fact that you don't have to cry to get my attention when you wake up hungry; just moving a bit is usually enough for me to wake up and realize you are hungry or just want to be moved or want me to find your pacifier. I love hearing your gurgles and coos when you wake up happy. I love feeling you kicking your feet in excitement - although I'm never really sure just what excitement you are able to find at 3:00 in the morning in the pitch-black darkness. I love that when the sun comes up and it gets a bit lighter, the first thing you see when you open your eyes is me smiling at you. And then you smile back at me. And each and every one of your smiles is so very precious to me. After seeing how fast Emmy grew, I really know that this sweet baby time is rapidly going by.

During the day, if we're home, you'll usually nap for 4-5 hours - but in your swing. And I realized I was training you to only be able to sleep if you were next to someone or in motion. And that's just not very nice to do to you. Although, to my credit, I will say I have you well-trained in terms of noise. Just yesterday I was vacuuming under your swing while you slept and you never woke up. But it's important to me not to have to say, "Shhhh!!!! The baby is sleeping!!!!", if ever anyone visited during your nap time.

I would try to put you in your crib for naps but, usually, you'd waken after five minutes or so and then I'd come get you and end up either holding you, or putting you in the sling, or in the swing.

So last night Emmy suggested we swaddle you - something we haven't done in weeks and weeks. So, swaddle you we did. And I put you in your crib after your 10:00PM feeding and you slept there for five hours. Now granted, you were sleeping pretty soundly when we put you in, but the point is, you slept there, without crying, for five hours - even though I heard you rustling around when you lost your pacifier. I was braced, ready to come help, but you just fell right back to sleep.

So today, when it was time for your nap, I fed you and then I changed you. So you were rather awake. Then I swaddled you and put you in your crib while you were awake. And then I went to take a bath. But I knew you would start crying. But you didn't. Again, I could hear you rustling around trying to somehow maneuver your face back onto your pacifier (since you still can't use your hands for much yet). But, again, you just put yourself to sleep - without crying.

I'm so proud of you.

I'll still undoubtedly have you sleep with me after your early-morning feeding. But as long as you can also sleep in your crib, I think that's fine.